you must love me

As I am caught in the mix of the lights and the glits, imprisoned by the freedoms that are based on a myth, I have been taught to run after a dream that does not exist. Like the rose that grew from concrete as explained by Mr Shakur, you must celebrate my will know and my tenacity to reach the sun. My never ending urge to explain my convictions and my never ending need to justify my philosophy. some people call it weird while others call it stupid, I prefer to call it my tragedy or my justifiable destruction.

You may not like the man I am or the man i will become, but you must always respect and recognize the fact that i still became a man. You may not like the path that i walk or the direction that i take, but at least i walk a path chosen on my own and take a direction that i feel is right ... A path whose end holds my redemption, and whose cost is the beautiful solitude. With my soul trapped in this liberated mindset, I have traded my last breath for tears and all my blood for absolutely nothing ... Yet i still breath and i miraculously still bleed, you must love me because I miraculously still be.

Dont hate me because you dont like what what i am doing with my life today, hate me when i change what i am doing because i am scared of what you are going to say. S0 until i am visibly shaken or terrified by your lame words, you have absolutely no choice but to love me.

In a timeless space: Reflections of a suicidal veteran

A couple of seconds to the end and it was apparently clear: His demons had gained tactical advantage and he was never going to make it out of there alive. All alone in his room, disillusioned and defeated, he stares hard at that glock as he drifts into a brief mental paradise, a place of pure peace and a space of no time. With a slight grin and a whole lot of tears, he is quite shocked at how the history of glory and triumph that trails him never prepared him for what ultimately turned out to be the final battle.

With the scars from battles fought, certificates from universities gone and awards from tournaments won, he had gained the respect and admiration of all apart from one ... the one whose respect can only be earned through a careful process of solemn reflection and unilateral humility ... The one who could not care less about your physical achievements ... The one whom he conveniently choose to ignore ... Blinded by the false system which glorifies nothings, he ascended to a rarefied atmosphere of "perfection" and "greatness".

Staring hard at that glock he can finally see: the falsehood, the failure and the illusion of a life well lived. A sad case of misplaced priorities and displaced aspirations. "i was once great ... or at least they thought i was" ... his last thoughts as a loud bang gives the final victory to his demons.

crawling cheetahs and running turtles

The Eagles were raised as chickens and the chickens as eagles .... The sheep as wolves and the wolves as sheep ... The bees as flies and the flies as mosquitoes ..... The mosquitoes as wasps and the wasps butterflies. A twisted system which has forced flightless birds to fly and harmless insects to sting .... herbivores to eat meat and carnivores to chew on grass ..... A system that seeks by all means to test the limits of dramatic irony by forcing cheetahs to crawl and turtles to run.

We are caught in this system of mass indoctrination which seems to be geting a kick out of playing world opposite day .... hence the new smart is now dumb and the new dumb is now smart .... The new lion is now a donkey and the new donkey is now a sheep ..... What if .... and just what if, ... we all decided that play time was over and everything went back to its original character ..... The eagles will once again soar and the chickens will walk the earth like they are suppose to ...... the carnivores will finally be able to derive their proper nutrients from a good meal of meat and the the herbivores will happily munch away on something they can actually stomach .... We will actually have a much more healthy and effective system.

The complex game of pretend which has brought us thus far in the existence of man has proven to be be extremely costly and fatally out of control. The system of jokers, jokes, and clowns that has incredibly forced Whales to walk on land and camels to swim in the deep blue sea must be broken ...... It is not just the evil of the whole situation that is most annoying, it is the senselessness behind all this madness and the impunity with which these mad men operate.

Let the cheetahs run and let turtles crawl, for there is no cheetah on planet earth that can crawl better than a turtle, nor is there a turtle that can run faster than a cheetah.

An unkindness of ravens ...

I smiled as the single one approached because many say sighting a loner away from the unkindness will bring a person luck. But I have never been much of the lucky type and that was why it was no surprise when less than 30 seconds latter the entire unkindness was upon me. Sighting an entire unkindness as opposed to the loner is supposed to be a sign of turbulence and uncertainty in the future. Discovering that the loner was not a loner after all was not even a shock to me in the least. I just remained there unmoved and unshaken as i watched the supposed plague shower down its curses on me ......

I stood there smiling until i had to consciously remind myself that the initial reason i was smiling had been discredited by subsequent events .... A painful reminder of the fact that my emotions dumped me in a foster home a long time ago and left me to the mercy of my thoughts. Reason and rationality therefore became the center piece my basic code of conduct which initially appeared to be good and emancipating. My lone flyer very quickly turned out to be an entire unkindness as too much reason and too much thought gave birth to my tragedy ..... Let us pray

Dear God, gods, and goddesses of planet earth, i understand your need to have the last laugh. A situation which has probably led you to redefine the phrase "practical joke" and blow it a little out of human proportion. However, as you continue to come up with more innovative ways to get your laugh and daily dose of comic relief, please dont forget to remember one thing: A raven whether in kind or unkindness is always individually in kind and technically in unkindness(using the all for one and one for all theory)

The triumph of "the lesser man"

We celebrate "progress", celebrate "success", admire "the rich" and pity "the poor" ... We prioritize the needs of "the powerful" while taking a piss on "the lesser man" ... We all long to be "great", long to be "powerful", pray to be "rich" and hope to be "important" ... We strive to distance our tactics from those of "the lesser men" and only want to be associated with them on a charity basis.

What we fail to see is the role "the lesser man" plays in the achievements of the "the better man" .. If there were no poor then there will technically be no rich as the state of being wealthy can only be attained in a society with non wealthy people to make the comparison ... If there were no weak, there will technically be no strong as a man is considered strong only because there are many with less strength than himself ... Therefore, "the better man" needs "the lesser man" to be able to exist in an anal state of pride and superiority ... Yet more often than not, the former assumes a condescending position of mental arrogance and appalling stupidity, instigated by a system of misplaced priorities and dysfunctional elements ... The latter on the other hand have adopted a stereotypical prototype of chronic inferiority which is backed by the same questionable system that cant see past its own nose ...

This is the triumph of "the lesser man" ... The emancipation of the masses ... The vindication of the homeless bum and the justification of the underachiever; all who have been made to work according to the standards of a very narrow and infective system which defines accomplishment by a very biased and ignorant criteria ... Weep not oh ye souls of lesser emphasis and boast not oh ye clans of the elite . For you are equally of less importance in this equation called life

Based on actual events: A lady of difficult virtue

She laughed, laughed hard, laughed loud ... laughed in mockery of the silly lines that were thrown at her .... There will be no action for that guy tonight ... not until he has polished his game ... She kills, she dies ..... Dies every time a person takes her for granted or tries to take her for a ride ... there is no riding over this lady ... no manipulating or deceiving ... she is what she was and will be what she is ... Over the centuries she has remained the same ... We have already started crying at the jokes that were told a thousand years ago but she is still laughing ... probably will be for a long time ...

She is not understandable ... well at least for most she is not ... few have learn`t to get the best out of her, but most have no idea how to get any of her at all ... She longs and she wishes; wishes that one day it will all be over ... but it wont ... for the end of one is just but the beginning for another ... She is tragically the oldest young person to dwell among us. She will be blamed and will never be loved

This is her tragedy ... the hand that was dealt to her ... the reality she must live with and can probably never change ... She is a lady ... A lady of virtue ... As opposed to what we would like ,she is a lady of difficult virtue .... One we cant push around ... for those who tried before us failed horrendously .... Its time we stepped up our game and respectfully tried to understand her ... For she is not going anywhere .... SHE IS LIFE

Of Men and Brutes

Conventional and unconventional tactics are usually championed on two fronts and by two different groups of people : The men, who like to identify with the conventional ways and choose to propagate the principles of convention, making arguments on the lines of rationality which serves as a masquerade for selfish interests and silly bureaucracy. The brutes on the other hand are opposed to the men and prefer to preach the doctrines of unconventional tactics on the lines of effectiveness and "you cant save everybody".This direct difference in ideology often gives rise to confrontation between both parties.

The concept of diplomacy, negotiations, etc are terms that are very familiar in the men`s quarters .. Terms that are quite frankly ambiguous and invoked only in defense of issues, places and people that support or accept the teachings of the men ..... Terms like crush, kill, destroy,etc are more commonly used in circles of the brutes, as they will go to any and very extreme extents just to meet a goal or accomplish an objective .... This ideology has often proven to be counter productive with catastrophic results ....

As no ideological doctrine has proven to be completely effective, it might be necessary for humans to remain open at all times and ready to invoke the teachings of any of the two groups pending the situation. As diplomacy has very often failed, men might be forced to become brutes and as barbarism has not always been successful, brutes might be forced to negotiate ... Thus humans must examine every situation properly and choose a method of resolution, for within every human, there is a man and a brute ......

As the world turns

As the world turns it becomes clearer to me that things will continue to get more blurry .... An individual`s ability to perceive things in the true sense will continue to decline until "the true sense" will no longer be definable. The world is dangerously descending to a confusing state of chaos and insanity. A situation which will swallow all those who work by sight and not by thought.

As Plato extensively described in his theory of forms, a perfect world exists only in the thoughts of people as that is the only criteria humans can use to measure the degree of perfectness in this very imperfect world .... Therefore, as the world is very clearly becoming more blurry, humans must begin to consult with their world of forms much more often to guide them and let them know the degree of accurateness in any situation ... This is a cause for serious concern as many human beings have completely forgotten how to consult with the Utopian state that exists in their minds. A situation which automatically leaves them at the mercy of the blurry world which is literally deteriorating into a completely void state ...

The need for human beings to return to the basic foundations of fundamental thought has never been more important ... The pillars of wisdom which still holds men like Plato , Socrates, Aristotle and the likes up high are not yet extinct(but are on the endangered species list). As the world turns its not going to get any more clearer, and we are not going to get any less dizzy . The only compass you can rely on for the right bearings are your thoughts ... Getting in touch with them at this time might be imperative to your continued existence as a rational being ...

He wrote : The autobiography of an isolated cynic

He wrote because he spoke no language ..... When he tried to communicate they never understood him ... As an isolated outcast he grew closer to his pen, closer to his pad, and closer to his thoughts ... Existing only in the mental company of this dynamic trio, a unique and unexplainable bond began to form ... He studied the ways of the pen and the greatness of the pad, while traveling to the depths of his thoughts in search of an explanation ..

His attempts at normal communication were met with major failure, as no one could speak the language of the dynamic trio .....Thus he wrote even more ..... As he progressed in life he made a pleasant discovery: There were others out there who also spoke their own languages .. people whom he had assumed did not exist ... They spoke Languages which also resulted in the isolation of their thoughts .... Thus they sang, thus they drew, thus they painted, and of course thus they wrote ...

He wrote, still writes and will write forever ... for that is his outlet to speak .. To let it all out .. To compensate himself with a mental friend ... As he has had limited progress in speaking the language of the majority, they have also not been able to learn much of his own language .. But the discovery of others has been a significant finding, as he knows that he is not alone in being alone ... Therefore, until the majority can comprehend his dialect, the dynamic trio shall be his only friends .... Thus he shall write

In The looking glass

As I`m sitting and listening to the stories tellers tell, i am captivated and desperately trying to decipher this particular story tellers tale ... So vivid yet so confusing ... With a shocking attention to detail, her descriptive skills will put Patricia Cornwell to shame. She scares me and i wonder why.

The story continues with precision and skill ... There is no going off point for this teller ... not in the least ... Even though we wished she would veer off just a little, she continues to hit the nail on the head ... continues to spread that strange discomfort that is associated with truth .... The silence gets louder until the only thing we can hear is the sound of her unvoiced message ...

Many run away in in fear and confusion ... A little to much to handle ... Others turn up the music so they don't have to listen to the message ... But the question is not if your hair is done properly or if you got your tie on straight ... The question is what do you hear when you stare deep into that looking glass ... It just might be that uncomfortable tale that she very quietly tells ....

The blessing of a curse

I navigate through this endless maze of madness, in search of the end, in search of the resolution, in search of closure. I long for the answer to the big question but must answer all these small questions along the way ... I stare in envy and somewhat jealousy of those who have comfortably set up tent with no plans to move anytime soon ..... For they live completely unaware of the fact that they exist in a huge maze .... An unanswered question ... An unending puzzle ..... Ignorance is bliss

I have been blessed with this curse .... To stroll this maze as an outcast ... A man with no tent to call home ... In fighting my inner demons i struggle to console myself, hoping that one day the discovery of the answer will bring me peace, .. will bring me justification, will bring me hope .... So i could finally explain the cause of my actions, so i can finally be accepted in at least one circle of thought ... As i breeze past the settlements, i pretend to be normal .. try to act like everyone else ... but am not .. am just a wanderer on a quest, and they should be to .... Ignorance is bliss

I cant help but wonder if there is only one way out .... the only way in which others "blessed" by the gods have found redemption ... I ponder about that day like a girl about her wedding ..... my redemption, my salvation, my demise, my answer. Yet at the same time i fear the answer like a well know plague ..... I fear it cause i am sure it would devour me alive .... For something somewhere tells me ..... THE ANSWER WILL BE MORE DRASTIC THAN THE QUESTION ...

kill the messenger

"Kill the messenger for the thoughts of man are not sophisticated enough to handle this kind of complicated reality. Let us go to our churches and mosques and synagogues and temples and pray this one out. We don't have to take any action "God" will handle it for us" .... says the rabbi, pastor, imam and high priest

"Kill the messenger for i am truthful enough to admit my fear of the truth. Let us hold hands, unite and work together to continue to live the lie that has served us so well to date, for in "unity" we will progress even if it is further into lies" ..... says the politician

"Kill the messenger because with his death I will be able to get two extra seconds of peace, in denial of the message of truth he brings. Please allow me to squabble in my sorry state of ignorance for just a little while longer. Let me live oblivious of the true facts even though it is obvious that the situation will soon boil over as truth has almost always overcome lies and ignorance"..... says the average human being.

"To fear death, my friends, is only to think ourselves wise, without being wise: for it is to think that we know what we do not know. For anything that men can tell, death may be the greatest good that can happen to them: but they fear it as if they knew quite well that it was the greatest of evils. And what is this but that shameful ignorance of thinking that we know what we do not know?” .. counseled Socrates

Now repeat Socrates words but replace death with truth or reality .....

Until man can overcome his fear of the unknown we will continue to exist only in the know which is a system of lies and deceit. For how long will we continue to kill and silence the messengers of truth in order to evade reality........ Asks Owi :)

From the tomb of an insane mad man

From the perspectives of conventional thought, man is held to certain standards, certain expectations, certain requirements and obligations .... We are all the unfortunate victims of this brutal system of mass indoctrination. Walking zombies doing what we are told and believing what we are taught. There is no space for flexibility and time for real questions ..... Everybody is too busy sticking to the script to even take a second to look at it all ......

The fallacy of "experts" and "pundits", of "professionals" and "adept individuals" is one thing and one thing alone: They all think they know. The key operative word in the prior sentence is think, as history has vividly proven that what man often thought it was has usually been very far from what it actually is today. The great Socrates is often quoted as counseling his followers thusly : "one thing alone do i know and that is that i know nothing" ............ I guess man has come a long way from that kind of beautiful wisdom to where we are today :) ........ Can we please have a moment of silence.

The schemings of a "professional" schemer can never out scheme the schemes of a professional thinker, as the professional thinker will be wise enough to know that the state of professionalism can never be achieved, thus eliminating the element of comfort and relaxation that comes with the false territory. The professional thinker remains hungry and ready to learn as he has already thought through the concept of professionalism and knows it can actually only be achieved in the false system that celebrates nobodies and glorifies nothings.

my struggle, my reality, my tragedy

I strive to to see, strive to know, Strive to hope, strive to acknowledge. I hustle to emancipate myself from the white noise that very often clouds my sense of rationality and balanced thought ........ This is my struggle, this is my reality. Unfortunately, my reality is coincidentally my tragedy. Trust me when i say ignorance is bliss.......

My never ending struggle is like a double edged sword. All of a sudden i begin to see right through every situation...... i begin to approach issues from a very different perspective. Unfortunately most of the world never sees things like i see ...... this could be my tragedy....

People say that Friedrich Nietzsche died an insane man ... i say he died the most sane man .... He finally made peace with his struggle, his reality, and his tragedy. He finally came to terms with, and achieved the ultimate level of sanity, and must have laughed in mockery of the insane world that called him crazy......... I mean think about it who is actually crazy you or him ?? ... Most people actually believed it was him and that was his tragedy.

As i blaze on this harsh spliff called brutal reality, i further understand that not many will comprehend what i am trying to put across. the closer i draw towards the ultimate level of sanity, the more "insane" i will look. this is the irony of life. but as i stare at these social cyanide capsules, i wonder why i choose to gobble them down sooooooo quick. A million whys but less than one because. I walk down this path for an unexplainable reason. this is my tragedy