before i wake

I am caught in a horrifying nightmare please wake me up, i just want this all to stop. My alarm is set for 6.30 and its barely 3.00 I cant bare this stress on me. I`m simply seeing flashes of videos and pictures of doom while I stand in a creepy room ... my mind starts to fume and at the same time the pictures zoom while in the background is a sickening tune ... somebody call my phone, I´m trapped in dreamland alone My only wish is that i make it home.

I see a mom on the floor holding her son, she looks sad, confused, and somewhat stunned. As the picture zooms in it gets a lot less fun, its now apparent what the bullets have done. Housemate turn on your music !!! Be loud !!! bring home a crowd. I just need something to get me out ... No such luck, the next video has a man in a truck in crowded neighborhood and it looks like hes stuck. A closer look shows clearly what he has in the truck, hes just waiting to blow stuff up ... Now this really sucks ... Somebody stop him, foil his plans, don't let him kill those little kids or kill that old man, but then my thoughts are interrupted by a very loud bang ... its over we lost it damn ... Ok stalker chic who always calls at weird times, it is time to show your value please save me from my mind, if you call right now i will love you and be kind but its hopeless i am hit with another horror find: Now I exit from the room and i am standing on a street, lots of people wearing suits looking polished and elite. But beyond the polished suits, the cars and the fleets, there is a very very dangerous feat ... I feel chills in my feet ... These selfish pigs appear to be robbing the poor, stealing their money like a kleptomaniac in a store. These crazy armed robbers in the light of the day, destroy the hard workers just to better their pay ... The street fades away, i see a barn and a farm, a burning cross, white robes and also a storm, the picture starts to zoom in and I start to mourn, then i hear peep peep peep, 6.30 saved by the alarm.

I wake up drenched in sweat, my bed is soaked and wet, I just thank God i escaped that crazy set. I turn on the TV cause its a happy day, oh crap breaking news: some kid got hit by a stray. Trying to avoid a deja vu i quickly flip to next: CNN: a thousand dead in an accident nuclear test. This is ridiculous i think as i start to channel hop, finally I am convinced that i should come to a stop, the story on the air totally brought me to disgust: people got swindled for billions by an idiot called Madoff. This is worse than my dream and is really starting to hurt me, at this rate i really doubt if i will live to see thirty, my nightmare has turned into a daymare dear lord have mercy

God dont like beautiful

It all started with a bang that progressed into man ... I say it started with man and regressed into a very big bang ... Its obvious that God don't like beautiful because its ugly. We have proven our superior ability to create destruction which appears to justify the notion that humans are set to self destruct.

Over time we have always managed to find a way to disagree and we have skillfully developed new methods of violence to escalate these disagreements. The fist became a stick and the stick became a stone, the stone became a bow, then a sword, then a gun. We grew our campaign of destruction from local to global, gassing and nuking ourselves to an all time low. During our endeavors a continent was pillaged and its inhabitants enslaved, 6 million people were murdered for being circumcised, we got more creative and introduced temperature to determine the type of war being fought, two towers fell and so did two countries, oh and a celebrity lost her dog ... (Just a quick brush on the topics that made the headlines)

Lets face facts, much of what we uphold to be the centerpiece of the human civilization is nothing more than a hypocritical assault on logic. The premise that humans are in someway smarter and less barbaric than other animals is somewhat flawed in my opinion. We are probably the only animals on planet earth that have sat down and intricately authored our own destruction ... We made our peace with death and came to realize that life was a much more formidable foe.

A very slippery slope: The Trotsky predicament

The turbulent history of humans and humanity is filled with epic tales of gain and loss. Regardless of ones moral, social, or political convictions, we all have at least one historical event that we view with pride and nostalgia. whether 10 or 1000 years ago, historical events that we strongly relate to are often offset by tragedy caused by strategic blunders. Responses to these historical events (or the lack of it) has often been the subject of great debate and contention. "Did they do enough" "did they do too much" are questions that often arise. Drawing a conclusion on many of these events is in my opinion a very slippery slope, What gave rise to an analogy i call the Trotsky predicament.

Many have argued (including myself) that rationally reasoning with an irrational man reflects the ultimate form of irrationality on the part of the proponents of such action. The concept of balanced negotiation and the dynamics of democratic principles would have meant nothing to Stalin and thus Leon Trotsky should have, in true defense of his Marxist ideologies, confronted and neutralized Stalin while he had the power to(considering the fact that He held command of the red army until the rise of Stalin). Others might stand in sharp contrast to the above affirmations claiming that loyalty to ones fundamental principles remains paramount to the individual`s true moral and ethical stance. Thus, despite Stalin`s subsequent reign of terror and derailment of the fundamental essence of the revolution , Trotsky remains vindicated by history.

Edmund Burke is often quoted as saying "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." Since i personally contend that it is extremely difficult to uphold a single definition of "good" or "evil", I prefer to modify this quote as "the only thing necessary for the triumph of one side is the failure of the opposing side to act appropriately in response" ... This I believe to be very true. Therefore, the ultimate judgment of Trotsky and people of his likes will lie in how we choose to define "act appropriately in response". Do we see the "stick to the basic and fundamental values even in view of dire consequences" policy as an appropriate response, or do we see the more flexible "if they choose to threaten my peaceful conduct with a knife i will respond with a bazooka" policy as an appropriate response ?

In the light of darkness: a case for an alcohol state

Take away love, take away peace, take away sanity, take away joy, take away life, take away hope, all i beg of you is to give me truth. This is my final assertion, the ultimate resolve of a questionable hypothesis, the prevailing thought of a revered principle, the central thesis of an illusive question. Of all the intrinsic values that define humanity, truth should be defended in the highest esteem.

We are all actors and actresses. Indoctrinated zombies playing to the script. One can argue that manners, etiquette, protocol, customs, propriety, etc are all mechanisms that have actively served in propagandizing the greater human populace and creating an astonishing race of androids. However, that once in while, we see human beings under the influence of external substances that instigate them to completely throw caution to the wind. At that time you see man in all his barbaric splendor. Dancing around, puking, saying "hey man" to everybody ten million times in a row, doing everything against the dictates of the laws of propriety ... But at that point, in spite of all the physical "craziness", this is when we are truly human. No more actors, no more fakes and no more zombies.

Take away all the characteristics that give man any kind of intrinsic value, just give me truth. take away the zombies, the fakes and the actors, give me the drunks and the stoners. Despite all that "craziness", at least we can finally be human. So when our livers and lungs have collapsed right before we turn 30, let it be on the record that we died human and not zombie. So yea give me an alcohol state.

Treachery: The unjustification of a (once just?) hermit

My dear friend,

I am pleased to inform you that as I write this letter I am standing on the border between political consciousness and mental oblivion. Yes, in a few seconds I will cross that border without looking back. I made it. It was not easy to get to this point, My journey was extremely turbulent. I survived ship wrecks and diseases, home sickness and robberies. I struggled every inch of the journey and now I am here. Even though you strongly advised against this trip, I beg you to clap for me.

Together we witnessed the dehumanization of humanity, the brutal murder of hope and the destruction of progressive ideologies. We witnessed the metamorphosis of human diction and vocabulary into a very extreme and polarizing monster. Ruthless became the new firm and and impulsive became the new persistent. We watched in horror as humanity was gradually conditioned to accept as normal acts that would normally be considered outrageous and out of place. We saw the displacement of compassion and the radicalization of the moderates. Before you jump to judge me, remember that we saw the dehumanization of humanity.

I am in no way attempting to assume a condescending position of psychological superiority, that my friend is your job. I have in fact come to terms with the reality of my fate. I am in to deep and will become a benefactor of the system. A sellout as you might call it, but i like to think of myself as a self made opportunist. The fallacy of social justice and human equality is now clear to me, the selfishness of political and human activism is now open for the whole world to see. Now i am promising you nothing but will make one last assertion: I am done with the crap and will fly straight across this border and never look back.

Sincerely,

The black hermit who finally made it home

If i could ... then i would

If i could just go ... crawl , walk, run and then fly ... fly somewhere far, where they dont care who you are. Live oblivious of this system that has tormented my mind, if i could just fade away from the laws, the judgment, and also from time.

If I could just Breath .... Take a long deep soothing and refreshing breath. Take a breath because i can and not because i have to, inhale and exhale past all the things I passed through. If I could breath for my uncle Nelson and my sweet loving mom, I will hold their hands for one last time and sing them a hip hop song.

If I could just be half the man that I think I`m meant to be, maybe i could pay my pops back half of what he`s sacrificed for me. If I contrast who I am now with who I`m meant to be, I derive the epic battle of the non-conformist vs society

If I could just see with my soul at the expense of my eyes, my life will probably have a whole lot more NOs and a whole lot less whys. If I could just see with my thoughts as a fundamental guide, then there will be a fundamental victory of the truth over lies.

If I could make the future, I would probably alter the past, cause my future will be filled with many figures that have passed. My boy Bol-z with Abe Lincoln getting blazed up with Marley while my mom is ridding shot gun and I am driving the car :) ... The perfect picture coming from a not so perfect state of mind, the perfect picture drawn in a setting with no space or time.

If i could LIVE ... If I could just LIVE